Internship Update [5]

June is nearing and there's still not another job offer. I know that life has it's ups and downs and I guess with this; I'm heading for the down. It's not that I completely lost hope... it's that I had an opportunity and I took it for granted, but I don't want to regret the decision I made. I e-mailed her again yesterday and she told me there were no new job offers. I was kind of afraid to hear that, but I needed to hear it. I guess, it's okay if I don't get into this program. What did I have to lose, right? I'm still happy though that i gave myself this opportunity. I guess this is the heavens telling me that I'm not ready to put on more stress. There's a lot of things I need to focus on now, and though I really feel like I could have handled this internship it doesn't seem it it'll happen. Thank you everyone who supported me, and I'm sorry for disappointing you all. If I don't get a job offer, if I don't get an interview, if I don't get accepted, I'm sorry. I really hate to be the one to disappoint people. I think disappointing people is one of the worst feelings I have to ever deal with and so I always try to do everything to prevent it but there are just times when I can't. I'm not superhuman, and so I'm bound to disappoint people once in a while right? I just want to say that even if I don't get this, this isn't the end of the line for me. Tomorrow June, and my last days for a chance are nearing. i don't want to live even a fraction of my summer with regret. Somehow even before this all started I had a feeling that this win-win situation may just land me in the unlikely lose. The days for SYC registration are nearing the end as well. I don't know how much longer to wait, and so i might just wait past it only to realize that it's too late. I might wait to find out there's nothing for me out there, and it'd be too late to sign up. Still, will I be able to find some meaning during that month of summer? With no internship, no SYC, I need to find something to make it still worthwhile so that I won't regret. I really, really, don't want to regret.

Job Offers

So it turns out in my lifetime so far I declined 2 job offers. I never thought this would be happening and there's still the fear of losing the 2 chances I've gotten but I don't want this to be a decision I regret. It was clear that when I received the phone call it was a choice, and with the choice I had the responsibility of making the decision. I thought it over thoroughly, and even discussed it with a few friends and decided to decline.

If choices were easy to make, they wouldn't be choices. when they're 50/50 think it over carefully and choose one, then work hard to make that 50% into 100% so you won't regret anything.

I would like to thank Dream High for teaching me this, because this is what I did and this is how I think before making any big decision.  I still want to thank those 2 employers for considering me and I'm really grateful that they did. I don't want to be someone who takes these opportunities for granted or be greedy for self convenience so I hope that they'll find suitable interns to take those positions. Still, in the end whatever happens I'll trust it to God and if in the end I don't get a third job offer, then i'll accept it. Sometimes you get second chances, but rarely in life will you get a third. I don't want to be a pessimist so whatever happens I hope that I can go through with it with a smile on my face and confidently say that at least I thought it over carefully before seeing what I rejected.

Internship Update [4]

It's been a while since applications were sent in and it turns out out of everyone in my school I was the last person to be notified about an interview. It seems like the popular job offer going around is a office lab aid. I found out I had a job offer from a nursing home and in a way I'm kind of glad it was so far away we had to decline because I don't know how comfortable I'd be around senior citizens. I remember fighting my dilemma of choosing between this internship and SYC this summer and I decided that I still had next year for SYC--this internship was a one time thing. This means I really need to work for it, and I really need to try my best. It means i really need to show that I want it and work hard to prove that I can do it. We had a mock interview today during lunch and I can't say I did so well. Thank goodness it was a mock interview and I pray that I'll be able to do better when the real one comes. I need to be confident with the first impression I give off and I'm not good at them but I need to try. People can tell when you're being sincere and when you're being superficial, so I want to be able to answer all the questions earnestly with the best of my ability. I got a phone call after school today from a representative of Careers the Next Generation telling me that there was an offer as a office lab aid at the Foothills Hospital and wondered if it would be a convenient location for me. As of now I'm not sure because I still have to search bus routes but if I were to turn it down I'd be scared that there would be no other offer. I really hoped for something in the nutrition field to be honest but I'm not disappointed with this because every little thing will give me experience. Experience was what I wanted the most so I am confident that I'd be able to do my work with a smile. Maybe I will be able to talk to a few nutritionists there and possible have a job shadow? That's probably just wishful thinking now but it would be a great opportunity. As for now... I need to get cracking on bus routes along with my social homework. i knew we were going to have to cram everything this month thanks for my teacher spending 3 months on the French Revolution. Grade 11 is ending soon and I'm always through, so cheers to the upcoming summer and I hope that it'll be just as productive and thrilling.